I have been greatly missing everything about you, but today I landed on a realization that I am already all of those things.
MUSKY SENSATION
Things That Suck: a recent list of my serious bummers from a common source
when you create a new and harmonizing world with someone and share common feelings together about loathing the surrounding society world with intense desires to leave it, and your partner decides to actually leave it but without you, your remanding world gets knocked wayyyy off track
forcing yourself to fall out of love at a time when that love is at its highest = awful
adult heartbreaks are perhaps even more pathetically depressing than when we were sappy teenagers. you still have to carry out your normal day full of whatever responsibilities haunted with a melancholy undertone that leaves you only with random minute-long sobs because you lack the proper time
learning,
that strong feeling of something being so right that it couldn’t be wrong, could even be wrong.
TOSKA - Vladimir Nabokov: “No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom.”
when the days are short, i complain that i don’t have enough time. when the days are long and lack job responsibility, i spend them accomplishing next to nothing even if i have a long list of all the things i’ve always wanted to do with such free days. something is obviously wrong and i need to start really finding the life that i truly want to be living.
(Source: elsaro, via claudialeanne)
had a crazy dream that a bunch of people and myself witnessed a ufo land on the river before us. when the aliens came out of the ufo they turned out to be humans that just traveled in time to bring back one of an extinct monkey species.. (the something-nosed-monkey?) they walked around with ego-trips holding the monkey so everyone could pet or observe. super weird and didn’t like this dream.
There are four kinds of people in this world:
people who like you for the wrong reasons;
people who like you for the right reasons;
people who dislike you for the wrong reasons; and
people who dislike you for the right reasons.
And it’s only the last group you need to worry about.
when my heart breaks i become afraid of a lot of simple things. choosing music to listen to, cooking breakfast, certain hours of the day. this is ridiculous.
